Pup Tails: Dog Surrenders in Ongoing War With Red Dot

Four months ago, yellow lab Marley Thompson first caught site of the red dot that would become his arch nemesis. His owner, Ray Thompson, purchased a laser light toy assuming it would be a good way for Marley to get exercise indoors. Unfortunately, Marley took the game too seriously and became consumed with the plight of the red dot.

“At first it really seemed like he was enjoying it,” Thompson stated “But he started spending hours staring at the floor, chasing reflections, and going days without sleep.” Marley wanted to devote his life to catching the red dot. He’d never had such a hard time capturing prey before and the red dot was seemingly impossible. No matter how quickly he pounced, how hard he bit or how loud he barked, the dot kept returning.

Thompson tried to put away the laser pointer forever but Marley became convinced that the dot was “hiding from him” and tore up the entire house looking for it. “I don’t know how we can make him understand that it is just a light, but this is getting out of hand.” Thompson admitted. Marley’s patience wore thin and he was prepared to take desperate measures.

Fortunately, a distraction came at the perfect time. A squirrel decided to take up residence in the back yard of the Thompson house. Marley’s vast experience with squirrel hunting easily shifted his focus from the dot to the new squirrel. Marley finally threw in the white flag with the red dot and forgot about it altogether. “He doesn’t even react to the laser pointer anymore, I’ve never been more thankful for a squirrel.”

Marley is still currently working on the squirrel mission and is conducting extensive sniff investigations regarding the squirrel’s whereabouts.

Pup Tails: Pug Formally Requests Name Change

Four-year-old pug, Spunky Bradford, is sick of not being taken seriously. After years of putting up with torment, being mistaken for a female, and facing an identity crisis, Spunky had to take action. He wants his new name to reflect the sophisticated animal that he is, so he chose Archibald.

The process of legally changing a dog’s name is fairly simple: the owners must start calling the dog by a different name and hope he responds. There is no legal process for the situation, but Spunky is taking it seriously nonetheless. His owners, Glen and Kathleen Bradford, said “We thought Spunky was a cute name, but his personality doesn’t really fit it.”

Spunky is, in fact, not spunky at all. He spends 90 percent of his day sleeping and only leaves the house to use the restroom. He hates walks because he hates panting and any sort of physical activity. He prefers fancy dinners, watching nightly news and observing cars pass in front of his window. Spunky is interested in high society and his owners are puzzled as to why this desire formed. “We just like to eat wings and watch football, we rarely do anything that could be considered sophisticated,” the Bradfords admitted.

Spunky has stopped responding to his name altogether and will only respond to Archibald. Unfortunately, the Bradfords are having a hard time figuring out what name Spunky wants to be called because he can’t speak. “Spunky has been entirely unresponsive for the past few weeks, we think he might have lost his hearing.” They said in sadness “We want to help him but there isn’t much we can do.” This confusing situation has left Spunky more frustrated than ever, and it seems as though he may never become Archibald after all.

Dog and Owner Struggling to Live Peacefully

After two years in the same Boston apartment, Justin Williams and his Golden Retriever Bo are having a tough time cohabiting. Bo has taken a confrontational approach to dealing with their issues while Justin prefers the passive aggressive approach. The tension has escalated to a full-on turf war between man and dog.

It all started when Bo slept on Justin’s bed while he was away at work. Justin came home to find long pieces of golden fur clustered around the center of his bed. Bo denied the accusations until Justin decided to come home early from work and caught Bo on his bed, munching on one of his pillows. Justin banished him to his crate for the night, trying to come up with an appropriate solution to the dispute.

Bo believes that he has the right to move about the apartment however he wishes. In protest to Justin’s harsh treatment, Bo took a large poop in the middle of Justin’s new bathroom rug while Justin was showering. Upon exiting the shower Justin got a foot full of poo. Bo felt that the message was clear but Justin still isn’t planning on giving up.

“I pay for everything in the apartment! He doesn’t even have a job; he just lazes around all day. The least he could do is respect me.” Justin complained

The situation is too awkward for Justin to handle. Instead of confronting Bo about his laziness, he makes it as evident as possible without saying anything. He leaves job fliers on the table, he exclaims about how expensive rent is and he makes a point of leaving out Bo’s dirty food dishes.

“If this is the way he wants to live then fine, I won’t tell him otherwise.” Justin said “But at the same time I’m getting really sick of it.”

Bo has not responded to any of Justin’s attempts. Instead he continues to sleep all day, sloppily eat his food and spread it all over the kitchen floor, and poop and pee when and where he pleases. Justin continues to be upset but takes no action on the matter. Their lease is up at the end of April and Justin is considering finding a new apartment that doesn’t accept dogs.