It has been two days now and I miss you so very much. I can see you everywhere. You are at the gate waiting for me when I come home, wagging your tail and barking in squeaks. You used to run to the kitchen door but that is hard now. I see you lying on the brick patio outside the kitchen door in the morning, waiting to come in. First you lie down in the doorway and wait for a treat or two, then it’s off to the living room where you have your own space in front of the front door. That will also be your last resting place. My sweet little girl, I love you so much. I lie on your bed and cry. I can still smell you and feel your soft fur. We were best pals weren’t we? We shared everything from our meals, to our basketball games, to our walks. You were always here for me no matter what kind of a mood I was in.
The last months of your life were so difficult, and yet your courage kept you going. Your walking became more and more difficult, and something that we were never able to figure out gave you diarrhea that just wouldn’t quit. How humiliated your must have felt. I could feel your pain when I had to clean you up or change your bed. You had a look of pain in your eyes that I will always remember. You were always so proud about your potty habits. Oh my baby, what I wouldn’t give to have you back healthy and happy. We could romp through the hills again like we did when you were young. How you loved to run!!
The backyard misses you. The squirrels run free, with no fear that Mandy will chase them up the tree. Your Mandy tree has a flower under it in honor of you. How sad I am without you. Your last 12 hours or so were so hard on you. I didn’t know what had happened but you couldn’t walk and your head flopped to one side. I lay with you on the carpet and you rested your head on my open hand. I kissed your forehead and told you how much I loved you. I wished you a safe journey and assured you that soon you would be running through the meadows in heaven with Torker, Alice, Nubbin, Spike and all of your doggie friends. You slept peacefully and the end came without a flicker or a flinch. You were ready to go, my dear baby. I was not ready to let you go. I will always love you and treasure the memories we made together. Happy travels, Mandy Mouse. You were loved so much and if my tears could bring you back, you would be standing next to me right now.
Love forever from you human mom!
Breed: German Shepherd Mix