Dear Yon Yon,

Yon Yon

How are you? I have not seen you since you left on November 26, 2013. I hope you are doing well, no matter where you are now. I want you to know I love you so much. You are my baby and you will always be in my heart. Please don’t be mad at me for the decision I have made. I didn’t want you to suffer as you could no longer eat, drink or go to the toilet. I felt so helpless watching you suffer and I was unable to do anything to make you feel better. You started to have mouth ulcers on Monday and it got so much worse on Tuesday morning. The blood stains on the blanket were so red and the color of your stool indicated that you had internal bleeding. I looked into your eyes and knew that you must be very painful. I prayed and wished I could suffer for you. If I could have only one wish, I really wish you could be healthy again. On the morning that I brought you to the vet, you were so weak that you could no longer hold your urine and you peed on my pants. I knew it was the time but I was holding my pain and my tears because I didn’t want you to know how sad I was. I was so afraid at the vet’s place because I knew I was going to lose you–and yet I didn’t want to show you my fear. I really didn’t want to make that decision but I didn’t want you to suffer any longer. I felt so helpless and I just wanted all this pain to end soon.

Yon Yon, I hope you would not think I was giving up on you. If I could had a choice, I would want to go back to the time when you were still my baby, when you followed me wherever I went inside the house, when you were mad at me when I accidentally stepped on your feet, when you asked me for your favorite snacks, when you tried to jump on my bed at night…

Yon Yon, I miss you so much. Please promise me that you will be happy wherever you go. I know one day we will see each other again. Although we might not look the same, I am sure we will recognize each other when we meet again.

Love you,
Mom


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