Pup Tails: Two Dogs Denied Entrance to Secret Service

Two dogs, Archer and Rudolph, were denied entry to the Secret Service after a grueling vetting process and training program. While they proved their dedication to the career with years of education in defensive biting techniques and advanced warning-bark linguistics, it proved not enough. The two dogs were forced to hit the streets to find other entry level jobs–tbut they refused to part ways. The guard dog team applied for a position at a local household.

They are assigned to the protection of a small child who, much to their dismay, leads an extremely reckless life. The dogs are forced to stand guard as he parades around the yard without regard for safety. Luckily there have only been minor scrapes and bruises and the dogs are due for a  well deserved bonus around Christmas, which is said to include a T-bone steak.

When asked about their employment choice for the two dogs, the secret service replied, “The dogs were well trained but they lack the professionalism to deal with such a serious assignment.” This comment was made shortly following the dogs’ final interview in which they tore a White House pillow to shreds because it resembled a squirrel. The dogs chose not to comment on this accusation.

While they may not be living their dreams, Archer and Rudolph will continue to provide service to the small child and enjoy the love and attention provided by their employers. They have a long road ahead of them, as the child will soon discover how much fun it is to pull their tails and terrorize them day and night.


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