Dear Peanut,


I love you my little Peen, Pina, Pinot Grigio, Pinot Noir, Pina Bausch, Peen Peen… Peanut Butter…I love you so much.  How is it that such a little Peanut like you can cause my heart to feel so much love?  I’ll admit, I didn’t think I would ever be a  “Small Dog” person.  But you came into my life and changed everything.  You’re so little, yet so ALPHA.

I never thought I would recover after losing Shadow, my soul mate – who you never met, but was a wise and special, magic cat.  He was my soul mate.  And I never thought I could feel such a bond again. But then you came into my life and showed me a whole new type of love.

Unlike a cat, you’re so needy.  You’re so moody….and you’re so sneaky.  But yes, you are also magically wonderful beyond words and have brought into my life a joy that comes from being worthy of such love, of such trust and such vulnerability.  You have made me a better person though and through.  You’ve taught me patience, and fortitude.  And the biggest gift of all, is that although I’ve never had my own children, you’ve taught me the joy of what it would be like to raise a young infant or child.

And this has been your special gift to me.

As I get older, I realize I may never have that blessing, to have a child of my own. But you have healed the sadness that comes with that thought and have made me realize that I could have been a good mom had the opportunity come my way. By the love I see in your eyes, by the way you nestle into me for safety, and by the way you trust me with all that you are,  you’ve given me the greatest gift of all. You make me feel like I am the best mom ever.

And I thank you.

Now, I have to ask you Peanut:  Where are my panties?

I love you Peanut. For being you- my little sweet, independent, moody, lovable survivor.  I love you.


Mommy; Otherwise known as:  The nose you clean every morning…I should have called you Afrin :)



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