My Little Devil Sassy,

This picture basically sums up what you think of yourself. You always have to be the center of attention, even at the cost of others (Winston in the case of this picture). You are such a bad dog, and the worst part is that your actions are 100% intentional. You are evil, just like me and I love you for it. I love when you run outside barking at little children until they cry, and then strut away happily. I love when you steal hot dogs out of the hands of innocent, clueless, unsuspecting, hungry folks. I love when you wait by the car while we unload groceries, only to sneak in the car and eat them when we aren’t looking. My favorite is your general attitude – you will sacrifice the well-being of others to ensure your position in the limelight.

I’ve been gone for more than two months and I can’t wait to come home and have you show your affection and excitement by peeing all over my hand.

Breed: Dachshund


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