Dear Hank The Big Spank,

Oh Hank. You big giant spank. I’m glad I found you at the weimaraner rescue. I saw you, I fell in love, and then left you, for you were already going to your new home – your third home. I told the rescue that IF you should come back to call me.

A month later you were back. I took you into my crazy world, I trained you for studio work in Hollywood, but you wanted no part of it. Void of any kind of emotion when on set you didn’t have what it takes to be a star on the screen – FLAT – was the word people used. Oh well, that was fine by me, you were now officially my pet. No performing. Be as “flat” as you wanna be.

Getting spanked (no, really, he loves it), pulling the dog bed out from under Tula the French bulldog and tossing her onto the floor (for fun? because you want to sleep there?), and at 8:30pm every night, getting up from a dead sleep, running to the toy basket, picking out a toy or bone and running to the bedroom with it? O-kaaay. These are a few of his favorite things.

This is your make up and I’m fine with that.

Keep going Hank. I love you man. I’ve had lots of dogs in my life, but the connection we have, words cannot explain.

And as I write this….he deftly tosses Tula off her bed.


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